election night
by dalekclock
Summary: Oneshot. Darcy, Jane (and Loki by extension) lose power in their apartment building, so they join the rest of the gang at Clint's for election night. Continuation of 'The Art of War' and various associated stories. Rated T for liberalism and body shots!


"Now, remember...it's Steve's first election since the ice. We're still catching him up on the last seventy years. Let's try not to overwhelm him, okay?"

"Jane. I'm not an idiot." Darcy laughed. "You sure this is the right apartment?"

"Oh, I'm sure the soldier knows you Midgardians cured Polio." sneered Loki, relieved to be out of Darcy's cold, dark, electricity-less apartment. Darcy refused to let him use magic to heat the place, no matter how many blankets she wrapped herself with.

"221, this is it." Jane knocked hurriedly on the door. The knob clicked as Clint Barton swung it open.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it!" He smiled, inviting Jane, Darcy, and Loki inside. "Everyone's in the other room, we're watching MSNBC."

"MSNBC? Really?" Darcy mocked. "I love Rachel Maddow as much as the next girl, but Chris Matthews does nothing but kvetch."

"Darcy..." Jane glared. "Don't be rude."

"Nah, it's cool. It's all the same to me." Clint grinned and escorted them through the hallway.

"Um...we brought snacks. It's pretty much everything from our apartment, didn't want to go to waste." Jane held up two grocery bags and smiled. "Thanks again for letting us crash here tonight. The landlord said power wouldn't be restored until Monday."

"No worries. Sucks that Sandy hit you so hard, Tasha and I barely lost wifi."

"Lucky" Darcy stuck out her tongue. "I've been charging my phone at school all week. But seriously, thanks bro."

Inside, huddled on couches, were the Earth's mightiest heroes. Steve stared puzzled at the plasma screen, while Tony and Pepper tried to explain the differences between the candidates. Natasha scrolled the New York Times app on her iPad as Thor and Loki hovered near the back.

"Jane! Darcy! So good of you to join the festivities!" Thor bellowed, arms outstretched towards his friends. "And where, pray tell, is Erik?"

"He caught the last plane to Sweden the minute Sandy hit the coast." Darcy sighed, slumping into an armchair. Loki soon joined suit.

"Shh! Predictions are coming in!" Steve waved a comically muscular arm in their direction. "I like this Obama fellow, real stand-up guy. His wife's a smart dame, too. I hope he wins."

"You and most of New York, Cap." Natasha smiled. "He's going to win. Don't sweat it."

"Easy Nat. Don't go making promises you can't keep." Clint smirked. "Polls haven't even closed yet."

"She's right, Clint." Darcy laughed. "Obama's got this one in the _bag._"

"How do you know? It's up to the American people now." Steve asked.

Darcy grinned broadly.

"Electoral predictions, my good man." She exclaimed cheerfully pulled a notebook from her bag. As a political science student, elections were her Christmas eve. She flipped midway through the pages to a very complicated, color-coded spider graph.

"You see, there are roughly 716 ways this election can go, electorally speaking." She chimed, pointing to the map's key. "Three-fourths of those, based on current and past voting data, favor Obama. You only need 270 to win, and 240 already favor the democratic party. I had to do the math last night for my Political Statistics class."

"I dunno..." Clint sighed. "I don't get my hopes up over graphs like that. I have to see results with my own eyes."

"Alright, Mister Independent." Natasha sneered, making her way to the kitchen. "For every 30 electoral votes Romney gets, I'll take a shot. For every 30 for Obama, you drink." She opened the freezer and pulled out two bottles of authentic Russian vodka.

"And if Florida goes blue, you take your shot off my cleavage."

"Ho yeah, now it's a party!" Tony laughed. "Miss Romanoff, might Pepper and I join in on this rousting display of-" He cut himself off when the daggers Pepper was staring could cut radishes.

"Never mind."

There was another knock on the door.

"It's open!" Jane called. The door squeaked cautiously as Bruce tiptoed in, carrying a massive bag of Halloween candy.

"Sorry, I stocked up on the stuff before the storm hit. You mind?"

"Not at all!" Darcy grinned. "Patriotic skittles vodka anyone?"

Natasha winced. "You American kids and your fruity drinks. In Volgograd, girls drink it _straight._"

"C'mon! We can make them red and blue!"

"No."

* * *

As the night meandered on, the vodka flowed. Steve borrowed Natasha's iPad to look up information on the Congressional candidates as Darcy kept a running total of electoral votes.

"Romney's at 180!"

Natasha swiped a crystal shot glass from the table and drank the contents. _Damn, that's smooth._

"You do realize you're drinking to _Romney,_ right?" Darcy laughed.

"I'm _drinking _to prove a point to this idiot, that Obama won this thing _days_ ago." Natasha grinned, nodding her head at Clint. "Potts, you should join me. Aren't you a Democrat?"

"She's Independent, it's so annoying." Tony swaggered towards them, mouth full of M&Ms.

"I'm the Stark Industries CEO, I can't appear partisan." Pepper clarified. "I voted for Hillary in '08, though."

"Hold it!" Steve's voice cut across the room. "Who's this Akin mook?"

"Uh oh, he's found The Daily Kos..." Bruce smiled. "Should we really be influencing Captain America's political views like this?"

"Who knows. Oh! Oh! Obama's at 200! Shot! Shot! Shot!" Darcy waved her notebook in the air.

"Your system of electing mortals to rule is...somewhat complicated. Why not an All-Father?" Thor whispered to Jane.

"Don't let Darcy hear you say that, she'll skin you alive." Jane whispered back.

Clint downed his shot, wincing. "Damn, Tash. This stuff is strong."

"Can't handle it?" She winked. "Oh, it's ten-thirty. Anyone mind switching to The Daily Show coverage at-?"

"OH CRAP. YES." Darcy squealed, pointing eagerly to the television screen. "Florida's going with Obama, 49% to 51%"

"Wait, SERIOUSLY?! Florida has their act together?" Tony yelled at the screen. "Sheesh, couldn't have been this organized in 2000 you hanging-chad bunch of-"

"Aaand this is why _I'm_ in charge of _his_ company" Pepper whispered to Bruce, who snorted.

"Alright, Clint. You ready?" Natasha smiled playfully, pouring a shot glass and lying on the kitchen counter. She placed the small glass gently on her clavicle. Clint leaned

down and wrapped his lips around the glass. He whipped his head back and forth and spat the glass across the room. Loki caught it before it hit the wall.

"I see you are all _very _patriotic." He sighed, unimpressed, before making his way to the door. He placed the glass with a soft clink on the kitchen counter before exiting the apartment.

Darcy followed him outside.

"Hey, you okay?"

Loki was leaning against the wall, playing with a magical ball of light. Darcy recognized it as the same light he used during their Halloween lockdown.

"If I wanted to spend an evening among drunkards and barbarians, I'd be back in Asgard." Loki sighed.

"Oh, it's not so bad..." Darcy chirped, swatting his arm playfully. The light flickered out.

"To think, I tried to rule your petty earth. These festivities in celebration of your 'president,' no different than those dedicated to the All-Father. How disappointing."

"Oy!" Darcy scoffed, taken aback. "We, here in America, enjoy _Democracy._ Want to know why we're getting plastered? It's because we as a _nation_ came together and are deciding our next leader. Someone who will represent _our_ interests, lead _our_ people into prosperity. Not because he was chosen by some almighty spirits that we're paying tribute to. We decide our own future. Not all countries use our system, so we celebrate our freedom of choice."

"Freedom is life's great lie," Loki sighed. "Didn't I tell you that?"

Darcy slapped him across the face, _hard._

"Freedom is what makes my country awesome!" She cried. "It's my _major,_ dude. You think I'd be in school right now if it weren't for women's rights? I'd be some random housewife making babies without it. Free will is all we have in our little mortal lives. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you're banishment is over."

Loki opened his mouth to speak when Peper peered through the door.

"Everything okay? Daily Show's starting."

"Yeah, everything's fine." Darcy replied. "They announce the winner yet?"

Pepper grinned. "Let's just say you can keep your free birth control, and Clint is _sloshed._"

Darcy couldn't contain her excitement. She lunged forward and grabbed Pepper's waist in a tight hug.

"Four more years!"

Pepper patted Darcy's back as she looked at Loki. It was that same, omniscient look Frigga would give him. She smiled and gestured her head at the ecstatic political science student in her arms. Loki's lips twitched upwards as Darcy let go.

"Shall we rejoin your festivities?" Loki asked Darcy, who stared at him, confused.

"I thought-"

"I'm still staunch in my beliefs, Miss Lewis, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate yours. Come, let us partake."

He stroked Darcy's curls as Pepper ushered them back inside. Tony and Bruce were hollering at the television while Steve flashed them a triumphant smile. Natasha and Clint drunkenly made out on the sofa as Jane and Thor swapped a few celebratory smooches.

Darcy squeezed Loki's hand, smiling warmly.

"Welcome to Democracy, dude."

* * *

_**A little fluff oneshot in light of last night's election. Even though I wrote the characters pretty liberal, I respect all political and religious beliefs. For everyone reading this who got hit by Sandy, I hope you're all okay. Please stay safe.  
**_

_**Prime should update next week!  
**_

_**Love,  
**_

_**DC  
**_

_**(Update: Accidentally wrote '04 instead of 2000 for Tony's hanging chad comment. All fixed now 3)  
**_


End file.
